n. LIFESTYLE [lahyf-stahyl]
“Californians invented the concept of life-style. This alone warrants their doom.” – from White Noise by Don DeLillo
If you spend the better part of your day sitting at a desk, chances are you have a set of drawers to your right or left, drawers outfitted with some combination of small object organizers and perhaps a filing system for papers. This seems useful if you don’t spend any time thinking about the last time you stapled two things together or held a piece of paper in your hand that had a shelf life of more than an hour. With nothing to file and nothing to staple together, you could eliminate drawers altogether or you could create a lifestyle drawer, also known as an auxiliary drawer or the California drawer, a small controlled environment where you keep things that support your overall work-life mission in a sort of aspirational way, i.e., giving it a nice sheen. This is no space for shitty travel-sized toiletries; barely any of it is essential for day-to-day activities; indeed, some of it is hard to justify owning; but it’s your direct link to a life of Cuban cigar smoking in clean boxer briefs with a knife or two by your side, plus a lime. Take liberties in outfitting your lifestyle drawer. We did.
The California Drawer Punchlist
Gerber 39 Series Sheath Folder Knife ($89)
Douk-Douk knife ($25)
Uniqlo Boxer Briefs ($6)
U.S. Passport ($110)
Walnut Cocktail Muddler ($7)
Takes up the same amount of space as a stapler, but unlike a stapler you can use it to make mojitos.
Epicurean Kitchen Scraper ($10)
This makes a good crumber.
Chef Inox Pastry and Pizza Cutter ($13)
This is pretty hard to justify.
Tabasco Buffalo Style Hot Sauce ($4)
This violates a basic rule of the lifestyle drawer — no food — but condiments and citrus won’t do any real damage if you leave town for a week.
Titleist Pro V1 Golf Ball ($55/dozen)
Put those Top Flites down, partner.
Ogallala Bay Rum Soap Sample (Free w/Purchase)
You get this sample when you buy the exquisite Ogallala Bay Rum deodorant, which your wife will steal, leaving you with a soap sample.
Kodak Disposable Waterproof Camera ($12)
Nobody ever jackknifed into the deep end with a Canon 5D Mark III.
Maison Francis Kurkdjian Masculin Pluriel ($185)
If the building is on fire, take this and leave the rest of your shit behind.
Kiehl’s Oil Eliminator Toner ($20)
We’re not sure what this is for.
ICEdot Crash Sensor ($119)
This crash sensor alerts friends and emergency responders if you hit your head hard enough to cause damage. Doesn’t mean you should be careless about your head, though.
Beyond Coastal Mint Leaf Lip Balm ($3+)
All men lose lip balm after the first use. We can’t explain it either.
Cohiba Siglo II ($70)
There’s still something about smoking a real Cuban.