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The Varsity Ball

No teeth on these balls


Your dog shreds his toys like Lindsay Lohan shreds career opportunities. No more. The Varsity Ball ($40) is a dog toy seemingly built by the makers of the M1 Abrams tank. Designed for active dogs (Bassett Hounds will probably just stare at it), the Varsity Ball is large enough to escape your dog’s hungry jaws, but just the right size to get his four legs moving like mad — all without your intervention.

Made of FDA-approved linear low density polyethylene plastic, the Varsity Ball is non-toxic and so tough that it’s guaranteed to be Mastiff-proof. If your dog manages to destroy it (and that doesn’t mean shoving it in front of an 18-wheeler), they’ll replace it and refund 10% of the purchase price. The best part is watching Fido try to control it like an insecure, micromanaging supervisor at the Dollar Store, while you sip scotch and enjoy your best buddy’s frustration fun.

Buy Now: $40

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